Before It's Too Late
by Spirit16
Summary: This story continues where the episode "Paranoia" (season 6, ep. 6)left off. In this episode, a college student stabs her roommate because she thinks the roommate is trying to poison her. Sandy Duncan played the defense attorney Michelle (Shelly) Kates.
1. Before It's Too Late

Disclaimer: The L & O characters are not mine; I just borrowed them for a while. I also borrowed the lyrics to "She Makes My Day" by Robert Palmer.

This story continues where the episode "Paranoia" (season 6, ep. 6) left off. In this episode, a college student stabs her roommate because she thinks the roommate is trying to poison her—hence the title. Sandy Duncan played the defense attorney Michelle (Shelly) Kates.

**Before It's Too Late**

Jack kissed her gently on the lips and then her neck, while removing her blouse. She in turn pulled at his shirt buttons and jeans. Soon, their naked bodies lay pressed together on her bed. He knew how to please her. She knew how to please him. Their desire for each other grew with each kiss, with each caress. Jack was about to go inside her; bring it all to a wonderful climax, that moment of bliss when he stopped, "**I can't!**"

"**Yes**, you can Jack. I am primed and ready."

"I'm so sorry, but I can't."

A little disappointed but understandingly she said, "It's OK, it happens."

He lay down next to her. "I don't mean **I can't!" **Pointing below his midsection. "It's not you, Shelly."

"That's good to know, so what's the problem? You're always in the mood—especially after a win. Or should I say after I let you win."

"You didn't let me win. You just did the right thing for your client and society."

"Wait a minute, it's her isn't it—your assistant, Claire? I got the feeling there was something between you two. She got this funny look on her face when I asked her if you were still dating that redhead. I still can't remember her name."

"Her name was Lisa. That was over almost a year ago."

"It's ok, Jack! You know our occasional romp in the hay doesn't come with any strings attached. Why you picked this moment to decide to be monogamous well … let's just say it was really poor timing."

"I know and I'm sorry. You don't know how much I really wanted to—believe me. I'm not sure why, but suddenly I felt guilty being here with you—like I'm betraying her. We're not engaged. We've made no verbal commitment to each other. Hell, I don't think anyone knows we're seeing each other."

"I wouldn't be too sure of that, Jack. I picked up on it."

"You're different, Shelly. You know me." He smiled and winked at her as he said it. "I can be myself with you. I can be myself with Claire too—she's amazing. Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, you can ask."

"As long as we've known each other, why do you think we never became a couple? We seem to have the right chemistry."

"Yes, I think we do too. I also think we are too much alike. I don't think our relationship would have lasted, but our friendship has lasted. Personally, I didn't want to risk losing that friendship and I've enjoyed the benefits. You're a good man, Jack McCoy. Underneath that tough exterior, is a good man and in a way I envy Claire."

"Thanks, Shelly. I believe I'm the one that's lucky." He brushed his hand against the side of her face as he looked into her eyes. "You are special, you know that! For the record, you mean more to me than just a romp in the hay."

They lay on the bed staring at the ceiling fan for a while. He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "I'd better go."

She watched him, as he got dressed thinking she may never see him again—at least not like this. He had the body of a basketball player. Playing on the DA's team, working out at the gym had certainly kept him in shape. '_Look at him, tall, lean torso, and muscular arms.' _She thought then shook her head. '_Ok Shelly, stop, you have to let him go.' _"So Jack, are you going to tell her?"

A worried look came over his face. "Of course, I'm not going to tell her. I mean nothing happened. I mean … you know what I mean."

She started to laugh "That was priceless—the look on you face. I didn't mean tell her about us, silly. Are you going to tell her how much she means to you? Tell her you love her."

"Yes, I will—when the moment is right."

"Don't wait too long for that right moment, Jack. Grab it, before it's too late."


	2. Bump In the Road

**Bump In the Road**

As he walked out of Shelly's apartment building into the brisk night air, he thought about what just happened. '_I hope Shelly doesn't hate me and we can still be friends',_ he thought to himself. She helped him realize that he was in love with Claire and for that, he was eternally grateful. It had to be love—there was no other explanation for what he was feeling. He glanced at his watch—it was around 11:30. '_It's Friday night—Claire might still be up. Maybe I'll give her a call when I get home—just to say good night. We're going to see each other tomorrow—we can talk then.' _He zipped up his jacket, put on his helmet and gloves, started his bike, and road off into the night.

Traffic was pretty light in the city that never sleeps. It was only somewhat congested, but kept moving. It occurred to him, as he waited for the light to change. '_What if she doesn't feel the same towards me? Well, there's only one way to find out.'_

As he moved through the intersection, out of the corner of his eye he caught site of a silver sports car coming towards him. Everything from that moment on seemed to move in slow motion. He felt pain in his left leg, the sensation of flight, and then nothing.

The 2nd ring woke Claire out of a sound sleep. In fact, she thought for a moment she was dreaming that the phone was ringing. She picked it up before the machine. "Hello!" A familiar voice was on the other end.

"Claire, sorry to wake you."

"It's ok Adam. It's my night for important cases. Wait a minute, why are you calling me? What's wrong?"

He took a deep breath. "It's Jack, he was hit by a drunk driver. Guy ran a red light."

She was suddenly wide a wake. "Is he …?" She couldn't say it.

"All I know is he's in critical condition and they took him to St. Vincent's. Get dressed and I'll come by and pick you up. Claire? Are you still there?"

"Yeah, I'll be ready."

A black Lincoln pulled up to Claire's apartment building about 15 minutes later. She was out the door before it came to a complete stop. Adam got out and held the door for her to get in the back seat with him. They road I silence for a while, neither knew what to say. Finally, Adam patted Claire's hand "He's tough! He'll be fine!"

Claire shook her head in agreement. There was another moment of silence. Claire looked at Adam "I'm not sure if you know or not, but Jack and I are …" she couldn't hold back any longer she started to cry.

This time, he put a comforting arm around her shoulder. "I know!" was all he could say. He had suspected for some months, but now was not the time to go into it.


	3. Hanging In the Balance

**Hanging in the Balance**

It was the longest night of her life spent in a hospital waiting room. Time went by so slowly—Adam had fallen asleep. She was too keyed up to sleep. She needed to be there for Jack, when he got out of surgery.

The sun was coming up over the city. As she stared out the window, her mind wondered back to the first time they met. She had seen him around Hogan Place—road in the same elevator a few times. She knew his reputation as a brilliant prosecutor and his reputation with his female assistants. When she found out she was going to be his assistant, she told herself that things were going to be different. She was not going to be seduced by this man no matter how good he looked in his jeans. It took a while, but he won her over. It wasn't as if he was trying to—it just happened. Behind that tough exterior was a kind, caring, passionate man that she fell in love with. If the defense council ever got wind of this, his plea bargaining days would be over. Thinking about this brought a smile to her face.

A surgeon came out into the waiting area. He asked the admissions person if there were family or friends here for John McCoy. She pointed toward Claire and Adam. Claire was watching as the surgeon walked in their direction. Even though she knew it would be impossible, she prepared herself for the worst. She gently shook Adam.

"What?"

"It's the doctor, Adam."

He wiped his eyes. "Ok, I'm awake."

Extending his hand to Claire first and then Adam. "Ms. Kincaid, Mr. Schiff, I'm Dr. Koster—one of the surgeons who worked on Mr. McCoy!"

Fearing the worst, Adam asked, "How is he?"

"He's alive, but in critical condition—he lost a lot of blood. Dr. Canton and I were able to repair his more life threatening injuries—the internal bleeding and broken femur. We have our top orthopedic doctor evaluating his other broken bones, which may require additional surgery—that will have to wait until he is in stable condition." He took a deep breath before continuing. "He's currently in a coma. He was wearing a helmet that probably saved his life—but the helmet also impacted the car. So, his brain shifted inside his skull. The good news is we didn't find any damage—like a ruptured blood vessel, bruising, or swelling of the brain. When the brain is traumatized, sometimes it shuts down to protect itself."

Claire had a hard time absorbing what he had just said when all she wanted to know was "Will he be ok?"

"We should know more in the next 24-48 hours."

'_Standard doctor bullshit for I don't know' _Adam thought to himself—he then said out loud "Can we see him?"

Knowing who this man was, the doctor couldn't say no. "Yes, for a few minutes. He's in the recovery area—I'll show you and Ms. Kincaid the way."

As they walked Adam asked the doctor "So, he'll come out of this coma on his own?"

"Most patience's do eventually. It may take a few days, a week, a month, or longer. Naturally, the sooner the better."

Adam just shook his head and thought '_more doctor bullshit.'_

Claire was unprepared for what she saw as they entered the recovery area. Adam was surprised too, but tried not to show it—he was good at that. Jack looked very pale. He was hooked up to various machines. There were numerous bags of medication all dripping into an IV in his arm. His arm and leg on the left side had been immobilized. She gently touched his hand—it was cold. He was alive—the heart monitor confirmed it. That pinging was music to her ears.

Adam put a hand on her shoulder. "He'll be fine." He seemed to keep repeating those words and wasn't sure whether he said them to reassure Claire or whether he was trying to convince himself. "I need a moment with the doctor. We'll be right back." He stepped away and took the doctor with him.

She sat down in the chair next to his bed and held his good hand. "Hey, Jack! You don't look so good. The doctor says you'll be fine but you'll have to hang in there, ok Jack! The police got the guy that hit you—he was drunk—ran a red light. Your bike is messed up—but that can be replaced. Can't replace you. I know you'll pull through this—you have to because I need you Jack." Her eyes started to water.

While Claire was in with Jack, Adam talked with the doctor out in the hall. "I don't quite know how to put this, so I'll be straight forward and I would appreciate an honest answer. What are his chances?"

"I don't have a crystal ball, Mr. Schiff. My immediate concern was saving his life and to prevent infection. If he continues to improve over the next few days, comes out of his coma, then he has a very good chance. I don't know what else to say."

"I know you're doing the best you can and I'm sorry if I was short with you—I just feel so helpless. The man in that bed is not only my employee (he paused trying to keep his composure) …he's my friend. If I could, I would take his place."

"I understand."

Adam and the doctor walked back into the recovery area to tell Claire it was time to leave. "I have to go now Jack, you need your rest. I'll be back later." She kissed the top of his hand and after she did, she thought she felt his hand move in hers—at least she hoped that she did.

Adam wrote on the back of his business card and handed it to the doctor. "My personal number is on the back. Call me, day or night, if he needs anything. Take good care of him, please."

"Of course!" the doctor said as he shook Adam's hand.

"It's been a long night—let's get you home, Claire. Get some rest—come back later."

"No, Adam. I'm staying!"

"He'll be in ICU. You won't be able to see him much even is they let you in there in the first place. It's usually only family—which reminds me, I have to call his sister."

"I'll camp out in the waiting area—I'm not leaving." She got choked up again. "I need to be here…for him." She didn't say or couldn't say what she feared most—that he might die and if he did, she didn't want him to die alone.

"Alright! Call me if you need anything or his condition changes." He pulled her in and they hugged each other. "I'm going home—this old man needs some rest. I'll be back later in the day. Take care of yourself." He kissed her forehead and left.


	4. Encounter

**Encounter **

After a few hours, Jack was moved from the recovery area to the ICU. Hospital policy allowed family and significant others visitation. Claire considered herself the latter. The ICU was like the recovery area only more activity. She was told she might be asked to leave, if they needed to attend to Jack or one of the other patients in the ICU. He looked the same as he did before—pale and still in a coma. She gently put her hand on his—it was warmer this time—that was good. She sat down in the chair next to him.

"Not much privacy here—just a curtain. Adam said he would come by this evening before visiting hours are over. It's strange having a one-sided conversation with you. Feel free to join in at any time." She talked to him, touched him, read to him from some magazine she found in the waiting area, hoping to get some response—like she thought she felt earlier. She now realized there was nothing like looking death in the face to let you know what was really important. She got up close to his ear "I love you, Jack!" She paused for a moment. "Last weekend, when you took me to Candela's for dinner, it was wonderful and very romantic. Then you suggested going to that bar with the awful lounge act. The whole time I'm trying to figure out why we're here. Then the singer said. 'This next one is dedicated to Claire from Jack—an old Robert Palmer tune called 'She Makes My Day'. Plus, you got up, took my hand, and we danced. A bit corny, but sweet. That whole evening was too perfect. I gotta admit, I got a little nervous—I was afraid you might pop the question. I didn't know what I was going to say if you did ask. When you didn't ask, a part of me wished you did. That's when I realized I loved you and I wasn't afraid anymore to make a commitment. I was going to tell you but—you know how hectic things were in the office—didn't have much time alone together and I wanted the moment to be right. Now, do you understand how important it is that you wake up, so I can tell you this face to face—I hope you can hear me?" Her eyes filled with tears.

A nurse walked over and asked Claire if she would step outside—they needed to work on another patient. She needed to go to the restroom anyway to pull herself together again.

Shelly came to the hospital when she heard the news. She ran into Claire as she came out of the restroom.

"Hi, Claire? I came as soon as I heard. How is he?"

"Critical!" She didn't particularly want to talk to Shelly right now, but she tried to be polite. "Doctor said if he improves over the next 48 hours, he has a good chance. You want to go sit in the waiting area? They're working on another patient in ICU and asked me to step outside."

"You look exhausted."

Claire knew that she and Jack were longtime friends. She couldn't help but wonder if they had been anything more. Didn't matter now.

"Yeah, I've been here since about 1 a.m. You want some coffee—light, three sugars right?" she asked Shelly in a sarcastic manner. Her fatigue had won over her politeness. During a brake from the trial earlier in the week, Shelly had asked Claire to get her some coffee so she could talk to Jack privately. What made it worse, Jack put in his order too. That really pissed her off.

"I'm sorry about that. I had to talk to Jack, privately. Hypothetically, lets say that a certain defendant was insane but refuses to enter a plea of insanity despite her council's advice. Now, the prosecutor knows she's legally insane from the court psychiatrist's evaluation. Both sides know she needs help—so one side opens the door for the other by allowing the defendant to take the stand. The defendant cracks under cross by the prosecutor—game over. We both know that this may not be entirely ethical and may have warranted disciplinary action for all involved not to mention an excellent basis for an appeal. I guess the point is sometimes you're better off not knowing…hypothetically, of course."

Claire just looked at her for a moment. "Hypothetically, some ADAs may not have agreed with the method but understood its necessity. Some ADAs would like to be in the loop and not get blindsided during the trial—especially by a colleague. An ADA also understood later that colleague's reason for exclusion and has forgiven him with the understanding that this should not happen again—hypothetically."

"The ADA should also be aware that the prosecutor did not initiate the process. Hopefully, the ADA understands this and finds it in her heart one day to forgive the defense council." After she spoke those words, Shelly realized that she was not only asking for forgiveness for her actions during the trial, but perhaps for her personal involvement with Jack.

"Maybe one day." Was all Claire said.

If Claire only knew what Jack had done or what he had **not** done last night because of her. Shelly wanted to tell her how much Jack loves her, but she would then have to explain how she knew. This brought her back to her earlier statement about how sometimes you're better off not knowing.

Feeling tension in the air, Shelly excused herself. "Maybe this just isn't a good time. I'll come back another time."


	5. As Time Goes By

**As time goes by **

Jack's sister arrived the following day. Claire had met Sara last summer when she and her family came to NY for a visit. Sara was a teacher in Bridgeport, CT. They kept each other company during the ICU visits and consultations with his doctors. Sara could stay but a few days. Claire promised her she would call her with updates on his condition.

Around the middle of the second week, his condition had improved enough to move him to a private room. This made Claire happy—it was more private and, in her mind, a step towards recovery. She brought in a boom box and some of his favorite CDs. Between the music, TV, and the books and magazines she read to him, his room was rarely quiet.

In the weeks that followed, Jack's friends and colleagues visited. As time passed, those visits became few and far between. She didn't blame anyone--he was still in a coma—no one home some would say. She didn't feel that way—she knew he was in there somewhere. No matter how long it took, she would be there for him. Adam still came by about every other evening for a short time. She wasn't sure if he came to visit Jack or to make sure she was OK—or maybe it was both. Anyway, his heart was in the right place. She saw a side of Adam she didn't know existed. He and Jack must have been cut from the same cloth.

The bastard that hit Jack pleaded guilty. It seems this guy had been driving on a suspended license from a previous DUI conviction. Claire was furious when she heard he only got a year at Edgecombe. Maybe if Jack had been there for the sentencing, the judge might have given him more time. It's funny, Claire thought, when something like this happens to you or to someone close to you; whatever punishment is handed out is never enough.

"I miss you!" With every passing day, Claire knows that the chance that he'll wake up becomes less and less. " I'd give anything to walk in this door and find you awake and smiling at me. The nights are the worst. I close my eyes, lying in the bed we share, and I can almost feel you next to me. I wake up holding the pillow that still has the scent of your aftershave. Adam said I should think about coming back to work—take time off when you get released from here. I don't know if I can do it. My body would be there but my thoughts would be with you. If the tables were turned, would you go back to work?" She played with the ribbon on one of the get-well balloons, as she thought about what he might do. "I guess you would." She kissed his motionless lips and said "I'll see you tomorrow. Good night my love."

She didn't go back to work. She applied for an indefinite leave of absence. She was so tired. The last couple of months had taken their toll on her. Most days Claire was lucky she knew what day of the week it was—never mind the date. She started this day as she did every day since the accident, whispering, "I love you", in his ear. She kissed his forehead, hoping today would be the day he would wake up, even for a moment, so that he could hear her say those words. She sat in the chair next to his bed and read to him from one of his biker magazines. Her eyelids began to get heavy. '_I'll just lay my head on his mattress—only for a moment she thought. I just need to close my eyes for a little while. Please God, if you're out there, don't let it be too late!' _It was her last thought before her eyes finally fell shut and she loses herself in dreams of him.

About an hour later, she was awakened by the sound of moaning. It took her a few seconds to make the connection that it was Jack. It was the most wonderful sound she had ever heard.

His eyes were slowly adjusting to the light in the room and his mind was still in a fog.

"Jack? Hey, welcome back. I knew you'd wake up. There's so much I have to tell you."

In a very weak voice he said, "I know, I heard you talking to me."

"You heard me?"

"Yeah, ….I did. You were the light in my darkness. Thank you, Claire."

"I'd better get a doctor or nurse to look at you." She stroked the side of his face, and then kissed him.

He touched her hand as she started to leave. "No, wait please. I want you to know that I love you too! Claire, you are the love of my life. I'm sorry it took so long for me realize it."

"Me too!" As she made her way down the hall to the nurses' station, it dawned on her that she could have used the call button. '_Oh well, doesn't matter_.' When she reached the station, a code blue alarm sounded.

Everyone at the station responded. "Room 203, get the crash cart! " she heard one nurse say. That was Jack's room. No, it can't be –I just left him. "Oh, god no!" She followed the emergency crew down the hall. They told her she should remain outside. She refused and promised to stay out of the way.

They worked on him for what seemed to be forever. He was having a heart attack. A blood clot had broken off from somewhere in his body and gone to his heart. She was told that this could happen to people who are bed ridden. They had been giving him blood thinners and used the compression stocking to prevent such a thing, but it still happened. He was gone—just like that. Claire was in shock. The thoughts in her head where spinning wildly. She was angry with herself for not staying with him. She was angry that she didn't say more than '_me too_!' when he told her how much he loved her. He said that he heard her—but did he hear her when she said she loved him. She could never know for sure now—it was too late.

A hand on her shoulder startled her. It seems she had fallen asleep again. At first she thought it was one of the hospital staff. As her eyes focused, she realized that the hand belong to Jack. She pulled back--it freaked her out! '_Am I dreaming now or was I dreaming before.' _She thought. She stood up and stared at Jack in disbelief. "Is that you? Is it really you?"

In a weak puzzled voice he said, "I think so! Everything hurts, so it must be me."

"Oh Jack, you don't know how happy that makes me."

"What??"

"I'll explain later. Let me push the call button." She didn't take her eyes off him—still unsure that this was reality. "Do you remember what happened?"

"Not really. I think I was on my way home on my bike…someone hit me ..after that,--nothing." He was in pain, but he had to tell her. "…….I do remember having a revelation before that." "I love you, Claire." He said fearing he might pass out before getting those words out. "That was my revelation."

"I love you too, Jack" She gave him a passionate kiss. "It's real!" She knew at that moment everything would be ok.

**THE END**

**Incase you were curious--**

"**She Makes My Day" lyrics**

I feel so lucky loving her  
Tell me what else is magic for  
She thinks it's better left unsaid

She makes her mind up in a glance  
It really made a difference  
I seem to be unconditionally hers

She's like a new girl everyday  
And all the rest don't bother me  
I'm far too busy loving her

I'll never be lonely now I know her  
She fills my heart with joy, she makes my day  
She just has to smile to blow my cares away  
She just has to touch my hand, to make me stay.

She's all good loving at once  
She's all good loving at once  
She's all good loving at once  
She's all good loving at once

Our love was unintentional  
She says we're not responsible  
She thinks with her chin up

She always makes uncommon sense  
Always knows just what to say  
She always takes me unawares

In less time than it takes to fall,  
I'm here and there you are  
We never fought it anyway  
I'll never be lonely now I know her  
She fills my heart with joy, she makes my day  
She just has to smile to blow my cares away  
She just has to touch my hand, to make me stay.

I feel so lucky loving her  
Tell me what else is magic for  
She thinks it's better left unsaid

She makes her mind up in a glance  
It really made a difference  
I seem to be unconditionally hers

She's like a new girl everyday  
And all the rest don't bother me  
I'm far too busy loving her

I'll never be lonely now I know her  
She fills my heart with joy, she makes my day  
She just has to smile to blow my cares away  
She just has to touch my hand, to make me stay.

Please feel free to let me know what you think. This is my first attempt at a fanfic. I have another one in the works, but it's more like an episode—including the "Duh-dunk" in between scenes. Thanks for your time.


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